Hotmess and Apologies…
No one would ever believe that I would act like an asshole towards a girl because Im a “gentleman”, the most chivalrous person ever…However,I have come to a realisation that I have a tendency to act like a combination of “Big” and Brian Kinney [Sadly,I’ve been called both]…This realisation was only made after I was a complete douche bag to a really nice girl that didn’t deserve that treatment. Its sad when you you’ve been hurt [in my case more than once and hold it in] and in turn do the same thing to an innocent person. But I need to make amends and not leave things the way they are, because I do believe in karma, and an apology is necessary…Its something that has been lingering in my thoughts for awhile; And I do hope she can forgive me…I actually want nothing from her, just for her to accept my apology…
I know I mentioned that Ive been hurt too many times to count and thats not a reason to go and hurt someone else You should take responsibility for your actions. But it does play a big role as to why I am so guarded and an asshole at times. Even if Im the pursuer, I have a big tendency to push the pursued away, because subconsciously I don’t want to be hurt again. Its also why I tend to like unavailable girls…And that my friends is what Oprah would call an “Aha Moment” If I had it to do all over again I would have just left A. A. and H. alone…Females always want to find a lesson in everything, well you know what I learned?I learned to be self conscious, I learned that if you are willing to give unconditionally, people will take unconditionally without reciprocation, people will take your kindness for granted,I learned to feel inadequate, even if you love someone so much they will still walk out of your life and act like you were nothing to them,people will play heart/head games…This list goes on and sadly why I haven’t had a proper relationship,but I will work at it.I accepted the fact that I am a hotass mess, and this is the last time I will let the past dictate my future [or at least I will try]…
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For dinner I made General Tso’s Tofu with jasmine rice, and blanched carrots. And as for dessert I made heart shaped short bread cookies with homemade jam and nutella filling…
Its almost 12:30 am…Normal people would be sleeping,because they have to get up for work but instead Im making strawberry infused vodka… (Taken with instagram)
I was baking way too much, so I had to take it back to basics…Roasted duck ,baked mashed potato swirls [with purple potatoes], and garlic roasted asparagus and button mushrooms sprinkled with panko bread crumbs…Delicious!
Post reblogged from Epitome of an Epiphany. with 134,600 notes
6 Types of Love
Eros
a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic loveLudus
a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest; may have multiple partners at onceStorge
an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarityPragma
love that is driven by the head, not the heartMania
obsessive love; experience great emotional highs and lows; very possessive and often jealous loversAgape
selfless altruistic love; spiritual
….Ive experienced ludos and mania
Source: Wikipedia
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Today I made candied walnuts and honey lavender cupcakes with honey cream cheese frosting…
![I needed to see this today…There are so many aspects of my life that I feel like I messed up on, could have done better and essentially failed leaving me with such a hurt and empty feeling that you sometimes feel like you cant get up and dust yourself off…But in those quiet moments you also forget that you are [I am] a strong individual and nothing is impossible if you [I] never give up and keep trying to acquire and achieve the things and goals that you have always dreamt of.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1gh0shzOs1qceauro1_500.jpg)
I needed to see this today…There are so many aspects of my life that I feel like I messed up on, could have done better and essentially failed leaving me with such a hurt and empty feeling that you sometimes feel like you cant get up and dust yourself off…But in those quiet moments you also forget that you are [I am] a strong individual and nothing is impossible if you [I] never give up and keep trying to acquire and achieve the things and goals that you have always dreamt of.
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